Welcome my friend: 2007年7月

~When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up... he pushes the earth down.

~There is no steroids in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

~Rather than being birthed like a normal child Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.

~Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger by yelling «Bang!».

~Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straigh out.

~When Chuck Norris sends his taxes, he sends blank forms and only includes a picture of himself, crouched ready to attrack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes. EVER!

~In fine print of the last page of The Guiness Book of World Records, it notes than all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

~When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

~Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming «Law & Order» are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

~Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

~Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hidding.

~Chuk Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face.

~Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

~There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

~Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

~The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

~There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

~Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

~The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer